Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Bush To Lead Investigation of Bush

President Bush this morning promised to lead an investigation of himself, “…because it is important.”

Bush hopes to find out why Bush flew quickly to San Diego in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, and why, while there, Bush attempted to play the guitar.

Bush also hopes to find out why Bush cut funds to levee rehabilitation in Louisiana.

Further Bush hopes to discover the reason Bush appointed a horse association boss to run FEMA and why Bush cut funds to the organization as well.

Bush will investigate the reasons for Bush’s high praise of the Dept. of Homeland Security’s and Fema’s response to the catastrophe on the Gulf Coast while thousands were left to fend for themselves for days on end.

Bush wants to know what Bush was doing at a retirment community on August 29 and just why Bush was holding a birthday cake for John McCaine that day, as well.

Bush wants to figure out just why Bush never realized a Category 4 storm could flood New Oreleans when everyone else in the country knew.

Bush will look into the reasons Bush has refused to take seriously the loss of marsh lands along the Louisiana Coast and why Bush thinks global warming is a sham.

Bush also wants to know how all those national guardsmen and women got to Iraq and what they are up to there.

Bush wants to know why Bush supports Judge Michael Chernoff and exactly why Bush appointed him head of Homeland Security to begin with.

Bush also will investiage why Bush never knew there were poor people around anyway.

Bush also intends to find out once and for all just what Bush is always smiling about.

Finally, Bush plans to discover just why the front porch of Sen. Trent Lott’s home was allowed to be destroyed.

In other words the Bush committee will get to the bottom of Bush’s bottom.


Anonymous said...

Lol, somebody remind him to use both hands and a flashlight in his search. :D

Anonymous said...

Kind of funny. However, by the time this guy leaves D.C., at this rate, he will be responsible for over a million deaths and that's not funny. It will be 1000 times worse if he actually starts WWIII. If the USA can do nothing to stop the absurdity of Bush investigating Bush then the time has come to confess that the USA is no more.

Anonymous said...

Great headline. I also like "Bush Probes Himself." Here's a quick trip down the memory lane of criminals investigating themselves. Don't get your hopes up.

"Nixon To Probe Watergate Breakins"
"LAPD To Probe Rodney King Beating"
"Bush picks commission to probe 9-11 intelligence failures"
"Israel to investigate death of Rachel Corrie"
"Reagan orders probe of Iran-Contra"
"Pentagon to investigate Abu Ghraib atrocities"
"IDF probe into shooting of Tom Hurndall"
"Ohio Republicans to investigate 2004 vote anomalies"
"British police probe de Menezes shooting"
"Clinton and Reno order Waco investigation"
"Hitler investigates what went wrong with the showers in the death camps"
"Sharon-appointed committee probes masscre at Sabra and Shatila"
"Churchill investigates firebombing of Dresden civilians"
"Stalin probes the Great Purge: what worked, what didn't"
"Rumsfeld scrutinizes human rights violations at Guantanamo"
"Reichstag To Investigate What Went Wrong At Dachau"

Anonymous said...

New Title: Bush Probes Bush