ON BEHALF OF GLOBAL WARMING

Thanks goes to YubaNet for this little gem which is HOT off the presses.

Andy Borowitz: Cheney Stars in Pro-Global Warming Film
Author: Andy Borowitz
Published on Jun 27, 2006, 07:16

In an attempt to counteract the impact of former Vice President Al Gore's cautionary film about global warming, "An Inconvenient Truth," Vice President Dick Cheney is starring in a new film advocating global warming, Mr. Cheney confirmed today.

The Cheney film, entitled "A Really Convenient Truth," will open in theaters nationwide in time for the fall 2006 midterm elections.

"I saw the Al Gore movie, and quite frankly, the whole thing was a downer from the word go," Mr. Cheney said at a White House press briefing. "I thought it was time to tell the American people the good news about global warming."

"The truth is, as the entire world turns into a red-hot tropical zone, it will be possible to go on vacation wherever you are," Mr. Cheney added. "When was the last time you wanted to take a vacation on a glacier?"

The vice president added that soon it will be so hot everywhere in the country that it will no longer be necessary to go to Florida for vacation, adding, "which is a good thing, because no one can afford to drive to Florida anymore."

Mr. Cheney said he would show his film to the U.S. Supreme Court and let the justices decide whose film is better, his or Mr. Gore's.

At the Supreme Court today, the justices found in favor of Mr. Cheney's film by a 5-4 vote.

Elsewhere, after a new study showed that boys with older brothers are more likely to be gay, President Bush proposed a constitutional amendment banning older brothers.

Andy Borowitz writes a daily humor column at www.borowitzreport.com and is the author of a new book, The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers.